Happy (re)New(ed) Year!

Well, 2011 happened.

Apart from all things Charlotte, it was a bit of a dud, to be honest. Nothing major, but just a dud. I found myself more than a little overwhelmed by everything and sunk into a fairly unpleasant place.

But no more. Inspired by my friend Megan’s ability to raise two little ones, have a constantly clean house & dinner on the table every night, I am unleashing my inner domestic goddess again. She’s been rather dormant of late. You know, the last 10 or so years.

So 2012 is going to be the year of ME. I’ve spent the last three years focusing on my little love, so now it’s time to find me again. All things new & renewed. New business, decluttering in all areas and a return to the old re-organised Jody. But on the flipside, ensuring I don’t bite off more than I can chew and find myself back where I started again. It’s a delicate balance.

And in the spirit of domestic goddess-ness, I just made my first ever batch of strawberry jam. Take that, 2011 me!

And the cleverness continues!

I’m really not sure what’s happened in the past week, but it’s like a light switch has been turned on in Charlotte’s brain.  She’s doing so many new things lately!

This morning, we were reading her “Sounds” book.  The first picture is of castanets.  I opened the book, showed her the castanets and she went scurrying off to the coffee table, stood up, grabbed her castanets, clicked them & beamed at me.  I couldn’t believe it! And apparently she was madly signing “milk” on the change table this morning, when Matthew got her up.

And the ten step record was beaten this morning, by a fourteen step marathon.  Go Charlotte go!

Signs and steps

This has been a big week for us!  It’s been a while since Charlotte has done anything “new”, and this week we’ve had three new things.

We’ve been teaching Charlotte some sign language from birth, and she’s picked some of it up quite well, but also stops using it just as quickly.  She was signing “milk” from about 5 months, but I can’t remember the last time she did that.  She still understands it (when I make the sign for milk, she starts giggling with excitement), but just doesn’t use it any more.  She signed for “change” (as in a nappy change), and then that morphed into her sign for “finished”.  The finished sign is a winner, I’m really pleased that she uses that one.  She initially used it for eating, but now she uses it when she’s had enough milk, or when she’s had enough of doing whatever it is that she’s doing at the time.

A few ago, she finally picked up the sign for “dog” (which is patting your hand against your leg).  It was quite cute actually, I started to help her do the sign by moving her arm to pat her leg.  So, initially she would do the sign by grabbing my hand and patting it against her leg.  Now, she does it all by herself, and all of the time.  If she hears the dogs barking, she signs.  If she sees them, she signs.  She was at another house the other day, and was looking out their sliding doors, signing dog (she’s used to our dogs being outside sliding doors).  Our clever little chicken!

Then today, two new signs!  She did the sign for “eat” two or three times, and then, in the bath, she did the sign for “duck”.  I’m so proud of her for that one.  I have only just started teaching her that one in the past few days, as she has a fairly new book about a duck that we’ve integrated into her daily routine.  Each page has a duck, I do the hand sign, and say “Quack!”.  I don’t recall actually doing the sign in the bath (which is silly of me, as the bath is full of ducks!), but when I was playing with her, and wiggling a duck at her, she looked up at me and signed “duck”.  Three times!  I’m a very proud Mummy.

Her walking gets better & better by the day.  After her bath tonight, she walked nine steady steps, and then ten steady steps.  I do hope she’s walking properly before Matthew heads to Germany.  I’d so hate for him to miss it!

And a completely unrelated photo from breakfast this morning … just because I love it.

D-Day … or is that W-Day?

Well, today was the day.  The day I have been dreading since I left work … my first day back.

I expected tears.  I expected trauma.  I expected severe separation anxiety.  All from me, mind you!  I expected the day would drag on endlessly.

Nope!  Not even close.

There were tears from Miss Charlotte as I left, however as we’d done the trial days & she’d been fine after I left on those days, I didn’t worry.  And she was fine.  I was fine.  As I suspected, the thought of leaving her was far worse than actually doing it.  I do acknowledge that my extreme luck in nabbing an incredibly perfect FDC Mum has an awful lot to do with that.  She just feels so … right.  It’s a wonderful feeling, feeling so comfortable with the person I’m leaving my precious girl with.

She ate, and heaps.  She slept, and heaps … almost three hours!  Why the face?  She never does that here!  She played with the kids, danced, clapped, chased around after them.  From the sounds of things, she had an absolute ball.  I’m so thrilled.

And as for me, I had some personal space for 10 whole hours.  I could walk around freely, I could enjoy my hot drinks when I wanted to drink them (and wow, they were actually hot!), I could eat my lunch at leisure, I enjoyed solo trips to the bathroom.  I had adult conversations with real adults!  Yes, most of those conversations revolved around Charlotte … but give me time.  Baby steps.

I’m actually looking forward to doing some work.  To actually get my brain working.  I’m sure this novelty will wear off soon enough, but right now, I’m just enjoying the ride.

Twelve months old … and back to work!

Well, it happened.  Time passed, as time inevitably does, and our sweet girl turned one.

Naturally, I found myself quite nostalgic in the lead up to her birthday, remembering my beautiful pregnancy, and my incredible labour & birth.  I know I tend to rave about it, but I really did absolutely love being pregnant, and I loved giving birth.  I never felt so beautiful, or so special.  I had them most incredible opportunity, responsibility & privilege ~ to nurture & give birth to a tiny person.  Even now, a year on, I still feel a sense of wonder and amazement about the whole experience.  I really, really hope that I am able to do it again.

But this isn’t about doing it again.  This is about having done it the first time.  This is about our gorgeous, cheeky Charlotte Jean.  We did it!  We made it through the first twelve months.  Hooray!  Certainly not without our challenges (sleeping!), but we did it.

Charlotte is a happy, cheeky (have I mentioned cheeky?!), clever little girl.  She’s so very close to walking, and can walk quite well, but just lacks the confidence to let go & go for it.  She is getting closer every day, and has now started giving herself opportunities to take a few solo steps.  She’s not overly interested in talking yet ~ baba & Mumum (though I haven’t even had a Mumum for weeks now) are still just about all she says.  I’m holding out hope for a Dada before Father’s Day!  Poor Matthew … She usually says baba if she sees a picture of a baby, or if she sees herself on my iPhone.

Her birthday & party both went well.  We had lots of family come down & across for her party (I’m including my dear Karen & William as family … she’s way past just being a friend!), which was so incredibly special.  It meant a lot to us to have our nearest & dearest with us to share her special day.  The party was an absolute blur!  Oh lordy … thank goodness this only happens once a year.

Here’s a picture of our gorgeous girl in her party outfit … a whole lot of planning went into this outfit, and I think it was worth it.

And now … it’s the eve of my return to work.  I can’t believe it!  Surely it was just yesterday that I left?  Honestly, I don’t feel too bad about it.  We have found a fantastic Family Day Care Mum, and after two trial runs, I feel quite confident that Charlotte will be absolutely fine.  She already seems to like the carer, and she eats & sleeps while she’s there ~ what more can I ask?  She loves playing with the other kids there (all are older than she is), and I’m desperately hoping that it will eventually give her some independence.

Her clinginess is getting very draining lately.  She’s always been quite a koala, but it’s just getting beyond clinginess now.  I literally can’t move more than a foot away from her without her crying.  I struggle to get anything done during the day, because she just won’t let me leave her side ~ and when she has her day naps, I eat, have a cup of tea … and then when she goes to sleep at night, I’m so exhausted from being clung to all day that I don’t have any energy left to do anything.  I love her dearly, but I’ll admit I do need a little break.  It’s not surprising, I guess, as I’ve only had three breaks longer than a couple of hours in twelve months.  I’m hoping that work will be just what the doctor ordered (plus, it will pay some bills!).  I feel such overwhelming guilt for needing time out.  After all, I wanted her so very badly, surely I should just be able to take whatever she throws at me.  But, I think I need to stop feeling guilty about it.  I’m still me.  I’m still a person, beneath all of that Mum.  I’m just a little harder to find these days!

Eleven months old

And so, another month passes, and our little petal is now 11 months old. One month to go until The Day. Her first birthday. Gulp! The party planning is underway.  Part of me is excited, but most of me is in denial that my baby is turning one soon!

Her personality (and boy, what a personality!) shows itself more & more as the days pass.

She is headstrong. Boy oh boy, is she headstrong. Stubborn. And she knows what she wants, or more to the point, what she doesn’t want. She’s got a feisty streak … I envisage many tantrums in our future. She’s funny … so, so funny. And naturally, she thinks she’s hilarious! She laughs when she farts (oh dear). She’s still very tactile, and loves to touch.

She’s really into books. She loves our story time before her naps & bed. She brings me books to read throughout the day, and I often find her in her room, on the floor, reading her books. I was a total bookworm as a child, so I can’t say I’m surprised. She even “reads” my Harry Potter book in our bedroom. I hope she (when she’s old enough, of course!) enjoys Harry as much as her Mumma. She has two favourite books at the moment. The first is one I picked up from the markets for $1.50, a board book of Old MacDonald. She brings it to me to read, sits down in front of me in her peculiar half-cross-legged-with-one-leg-sticking-out style and waits for me to sing to her, often clapping along with me as I do. The second is a “Sounds” book, which I quite like as well. I posted today on Facebook that she says “Baba” when I open to the page with the clapping baby, so I’m taking that as a word. Hey, I’m a proud Mumma! Tonight, she went one step further, and said “Baba” and started clapping. Might have been a total fluke, but I’m still impressed!

She continues to be very physically confident, although she is not walking as yet. At the moment, I’m pegging her to be either a dancer, a soccer player, or a musician. She loves grooving along to music, and is quite fond of standing up & then pointing one leg out behind her, like a ballerina. It’s adorable! She almost does the splits, and not in a “oops, I’m falling down” way, she seems to deliberately slide her legs apart … usually with either her pants or nappy being the only thing stopping her. Today, I watched her standing up at the front door, with just one hand resting on the door, with a leg sticking out behind her. Yesterday, she stood all by herself, and clapped a few times, rested her hands back on my knees to steady herself, and then clapped again. Her balance & core body strength (not to mention her legs) seem to be fine, so I think it’s just a confidence thing stopping her from walking.

She loves all things musical. Anything musical in the house is played with great abandon. The xylophone, maracas, tambourine, Glowworm. She loves when I sing to her, and is constantly making requests (either via the Old MacDonald book, or by looking at me & doing her Twinkle hands). I sing to her when I go to get her from her sleeps, and she happily bounces up & down in her cot, grooving away.

She adores her Daddy. And we finally, a few days ago, heard our first “Daddad”. “Mummum” is a constant here (and oh boy, when she says it to me in her beautiful soft voice, my heart just melts!), but we have been trying for months to get anything vaguely Dad-ish out of her. Victory! When she hears his keys in the front door, it doesn’t matter what she’s doing, she immediately wriggles off and crawls to him, warp speed. She’s still Mummy’s girl, but she just loves him. It’s so beautiful to see.

In the past week or so, she has developed an odd way of eating.  Instead of biting off bits of her toast, she now pulls tiny bits off with her hands & puts them in her mouth.  It’s usually after she’s been eating for a while.  Incidentally, this is something I do as well with bread rolls etc. once I get bored & my initial hunger has been satisfied.  I do find it ironic though, that she finally has teeth & she uses her hands instead!

I really can’t believe she’s almost one. Time has flown, especially the last few months. I am officially in denial. My baby can’t be turning one so soon!

Charlotte the entertainer

At the risk of astrologically stereotyping Charlotte … she is such a Leo.

She is sunny, charming, energetic & absolutely loves being the centre of attention.  All eyes must be on Charlotte as all times, thankyouverymuch.  If she’s doing something with me, she’s watching to make sure Daddy’s watching her.  If she’s doing something with him, she’s watching me to make sure Mummy’s watching her.  If anyone else is around, she’s making sure that as many people are watching her as humanly possible.

I have no doubt she will be quite the drama queen as she gets older.  She already has quite the flair for melodrama, the slightest thing can set her off into the saddest of faces, tears & wails … and then, 5 seconds later, poof!  The tears are gone, replaced by the sunniest of smiles.  If anyone knows the ad where the little girl is dancing in front of her Dad watching TV … we think that’s going to he our girl.

She was having a grand old time at lunch today, goofing around in her high chair.  I managed to take a quick video … oh, iPhone, how I love thee!  And if you look carefully, you can see her teeth!

Play time

It hasn’t been all doom & gloom here.  Really!

I’ve been amazed at how Charlotte’s playing has changed in the past week, despite being so sick.  There’s been a distinct change in her play style, from a more simple exploration of her toys & environment to a real deliberate interaction.  She loves to hand me toys, and take them back, hand them to me, take them back.  She’s started putting books back on the stacks they came from, rather than just ripping them off and throwing them on the floor.

Charlotte has now started putting shapes back in her shape sorters, through the holes & everything! I’m so proud of her.  Her “In the Night Garden” shape sorter is like a little carousel, the shapes go through the top, and then you lift the top up & they slide out.  She happily puts the shapes in, lifts up the top, and then starts all over again.  Well, I say shapes plural, but she usually just chooses the round one.

Plus, she is now a donut stacker extraordinaire … she even did them in the right order this morning … that’s my girl!  But don’t take my word for it ~ check it out.    The other two donuts had gone AWOL after Charlotte took them on a walk (well, a crawl) to our bedroom earlier in the morning.

My clever little chicken!

Sick, sick, sick

Three Bells are sick.  Matthew is sick.  I am sick.  And worst of all, Charlotte is sick.

I know I’m not the first Mum to have a sick baby, and I won’t be the last.  But gosh, it was just awful.  She’s had a cold before, once, which lasted a couple of weeks (just after we returned from sleep school).  It didn’t bother her too much, which was a relief.

When I was putting Charlotte down for her nap on Saturday afternoon, her breathing sounded a little off.  Laboured, heavy.  But when she awoke at 3pm, she was fine again, although she had a runny nose.  She was quite grizzly & clingy all afternoon/evening, but we put it down to the runny nose & only having had a short nap that afternoon.  We had friends & their girls over, and when we put Charlotte to bed, she was restless … waking every 10-15 minutes or so for about a minute, a little cry, a slight cough, and then back to sleep.  We assumed it was just the extra noise, and that she would be fine once things were quiet.

We were wrong.  Around 9pm, she woke, coughing violently (sounding like a seal).  She was burning up, hotter than I’d ever felt before.  Crying inconsolably.  And then, she did a huge projectile vomit.  My Mummy instinct kicked in, and I decided she needed to go to the doctor (despite Matthew saying he thought she’d be fine, and to wait until the next morning).  She & I sat in the waiting room at the 24 hour clinic for about 45 minutes.  She just lay there in my arms, occasionally coughing, or crying ~ such an awful, sad little cry.  I’d never seen her so lethargic.  Even when she’s tired, she rarely just lets me cuddle her ~ she’s always wriggling, turning, pushing away, pulling back.

The poor little sausage had a 40 degree fever, and croup.  The doctor gave her some Prednisone, and sent us home, with the instruction that if she got worse, to take her straight to the ER.

We had a rough night.  She spent some time sleeping in her Daddy’s arms (for the first time since she was just weeks old), but kept waking briefly every few minutes.  We took her to bed with us, and she slept fitfully.  Eventually, around 3am we put her in her cot.  It seems that sleep school worked a little too well … once she was in her cot, she slept soundly until 7:30am.

It’s been a rough few days, but apart from that first night, she has slept well at night, which is something to be very thankful for.  She’s spent a lot of time just cuddling us, which is so unusual for her (and hell, I am making the most of it!).  Every time she sneezes, or coughs, she cries.  I’ve seen far too many tears resting on her cheeks.  It kills me.

Today, thankfully, she seems almost like her old self.  She’s still coughing, but not as often.  She’s playing independently again.  But still sitting on my lap & letting me cuddle her.  But, you know, that’s ok.  I’ll take that.

Ten months old

Somehow time has slipped away … and Charlotte Jean is now ten months old.  I can hardly believe that we are looking down the barrel of The Big Day in just two months time.  And a few weeks after that … I will be returning to work (part-time).  I’m really trying not to think about that too much.

So, ten months old.

I have truly loved & cherished each & every stage she has gone through so far.  The helpless, sleepy newborn months ~ along with beautiful, warming winter cuddles & those precious first smiles.  Three – four months old, where she really started discovering the world around her, laughing, reaching, squealing, rolling.  Six – eight months, where she started solids, started crawling, stared cruising around the furniture & really interacting with the world.

I must say though, that this stage is my favourite so far.  She is just so much … fun!  Her personality is really starting to come through, loud & clear.  She knows what she wants, and most definitely knows what she doesn’t want.  She’s funny, clever & so physically confident.  She loves her Mummy & her Daddy.  She adores Dibley, Brock & Betsy.  When her Daddy gets home from work, she almost convulses with pure delight ~ her little legs start wriggling & she gasps almost to the point of hyperventilation.  She is still such a social little girl, and loves to smile.

She certainly has her little quirks.  She likes things how she likes them … which is almost without fail the exact opposite to how I like them.  She has a great distaste for anything in stacks, or anything placed on a flat surface.  I like to stack her books up on the coffee table (in her little play area) … she likes to remove them, one by one & place them on the floor.  I like to put her shapes in the container & put the lid on … she likes to take the lid off, and then either remove the shapes one by one, or give an almighty sweep of the arm and spray them out everywhere.  I like to put the plastic donuts on the pole … she likes to grab the bottom & tip them off.  Although, and I find this quite amusing, if I stack the plastic donuts without the pole, she removes them one at a time.

She loves her Glow Worm, and squawks at it when it stops playing music.

Her favourite toys seem to be anything musical (there must be some of me in there after all!).  Maracas, tambourine & above all else, her xylophone (though in true Charlotte fashion, the xylophone must never be in one piece … it must be in at least two pieces at all times).

After some months of trying to teach her to clap, she all of a sudden just started doing it around a week ago.  She’s been banging toys together for months, but just refused to clap.  Now, it’s all about the clap.  I hear her clapping away happily in the back of the car when we drive, she claps in her high chair, on the change table.  I don’t know why, but it makes me happy.  So happy.  The beautiful, soft sound of those gorgeous little hands coming together is just music to my ears!

Twinkle Twinkle is a favourite, and always guaranteed to bring a smile to her face.  For a couple of months now, Charlotte has done her own little hand signal when she wants me to sing it to her.  She’ll face her right hand towards herself & look at it intently, opening & closing it.  Now (and I’m sure this isn’t just my imagination, as she does it each time I sing to her) she seems to be doing almost all of the hand signals.  It’s adorable.  She wiggles her fingers, lifts her arms up in the air, and just before I sing the line about the diamond in the sky, she clasps her little hands together, before wiggling her fingers again.  I really should try & get it on video.

I think she’ll be walking before her first birthday, but then again … who knows?  She’s been pulling herself to standing & cruising around the furniture for at least two months now, but doesn’t seem quite confident enough to stand alone.  She can pull herself up with just the lightest touch on us, so it really is just a confidence/balance thing now.

Charlotte is still our little gummy bear, but that seems likely to change very soon.  Her bottom two teeth are aaaaaalmost through.  I’d say by the end of June, for sure.  Being a tooth newbie, I have no idea really how long they take to come through, but they certainly seem close.

So, a couple of photos of the littlest Bell at just shy of 10 months:

Our beautiful, blue-eyed girl. <3

And Mummy & Charlotte visiting Daddy at the wine shop.